Risk+ Commitment = Quality of Life.


“Whatever you can do, or dream you can…begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”    Goethe    

How much of our lives are spent with new beginnings.

Starting over.

Learning.

Failing.

Trying again?

 

From the outside looking in, my life may appear to many, to be series of failures, heart-breaks, and utter hopelessness.

But to me, my life is beautiful, promising, and each day is a new beginning. Literally a chance to try again to get it right.

I have made so many mistakes.

Failed so many times.

Cried countless tears.

But in the morning, I always get out of bed determind to give this new day a fair chance.

I know in my mind, I have the potential to succeed.

The ability to have that AMAZING love story.

and to impact the world with my typewriter and paintbrush.

We all have that potential…

the difference between me and other people is that I have the courage to make the first move.

I will start the conversation with a perfect stranger, who just may become my friend.

I will offer my services to someone knowing full well that they may turn me down…                         but what if they don’t?

I am willing to go out on that first date because this time I might begin that love story I have always dreamt of.

As long as we stand around on the edge of things, unprepared to jump in, the universe seems to take the attitude, “You don’t seem to be very serious about this. Once your committed, then I will give you some help.”

The moment we have the courage and conviction to boldly declare, “I am going to do this thing, no matter what!” we somehow tap into that genus, power and magic.

Everything I have ever achieved in life has been because I made the decision to do so.

The mountain climber who conquers Mt. Everest is the one who said, ” I WILL do it.”

I have noticed that when I am on the fence about a decision and have the attitude of…

” I will give it my best shot,

or I’ll try”

I can almost plan on failure.

Unless I am totally committed, I find that it is way to easy to quit, or walk away.

Gandhi’s entire life was testimony to the fact that one person, totally committed, could change the course of a nation’s history.

Disraeli put it well when he said, “ Nothing can resist the human determination that will stake even its own existence on the extent of its purpose.”

It is best that we also realize that whenever we make a stand on something, people will test us out.

My children are always pushing my buttons.

Trying to break my resolve.

I know, however that the thing that they NEED and DESIRE most from me as their parent is a firm stand, a solid resolve.

That is where they learn to trust and find safety in the world. If they can push me and get their own way, they have no real security in life.

I am their security, and if I cannot be firm, then they live on shaky ground.

Our day today began with a “family meeting”,

I call these meetings quite often when my children begin to show signs of disrespect or misbehavior toward me, their parent.

I sit them down and firmly tell them that I am the adult, the parent.                                                           I work hard as a single mother to provide for them, and that because of my position, and my willingness to ensure their safety, I deserve their respect.

I DO NOT tolerate rudeness from them.

They are kids, and they test this resolve, but I stand firm. Because of that, they are learning to be polite and respectful human beings.

People are always looking for someone to admire.

I am constantly hearing things from people like, “ I don’t know how your going to make this business successful in this area.” or ” are you and Brenda done with your crazy schemes yet?” When I declared my intention to lose weight, suddenly everyone was offering me chocolate.

But the thing I have noticed and learned is this…

They are all secretly hoping I DON”T quit trying, they are hoping that I will have the strength to stand by my commitment.

Another thing that those of you who have known me for years also knows about me is that I have bad luck in the area of relationships. This summer, I ended my relationship to my fiance when I discovered that he had been lying to me. I was sad. I was temped to quit.

But…

I did what I always do when I fail.  I try again!

In my heart, I have a deep desire to love and be loved. Not just romantically, but as a human being. I see the sadness in the world, and I know that what it needs to heal is human beings relating to each other as human beings.

The thing that is missing in this world is respect for one another.

Following this breakup, I didn’t know how to proceed. I wavered between giving up entirely on finding a healthy relationship – or – continuing to look.

When my path crossed with an acquaintance from highschool, I decided to go on that first date. But before I did, before I took that risk, I spent some time making sure I was committed to this choice.

I have a really great life, that doesn’t need a man to be great.

I have built a wonderful life for me and my kids. I am happy, content and surrounded by incredible people.

So…before I agreed to a first date, I took the time to decide to take the risk…and Commit to the decision.

I took it really slow at first. He even commented later that he was about ready to give up on me and count me as a waste of time.

But I think I speak for both of us when I say, I am so glad he didn’t.

Our first date was PERFECT!

Since that first date, we have continued to get to know each other better. We have both spoke out loud our intention to give this relationship our TOTAL COMMITMENT.

With him, I have no reservations,

no “hope this works” attitude.

For some reason, I KNOW it will work, and I am ready to give my life to the pursuit of the success of this relationship.

A very interesting thing happens to your life when you finally learn to take the risk and commit yourself.

Often times, the committment is enough!

In other words, if you are prepared to do anything to achieve your goals…generally you won’t have to.

But…if you are only half serious, you may well be tested to the limit.

That is why I have learned the value of choosing my risks wisely.

I don’t agree to everything anymore.

I have learned to only commit to those things that I can give my entire heart and soul to.

To do otherwise is just foolishness. It makes life much harder than it needs to be.

It fills your life with struggle and heartbreak.

One of my favorite mantras is this, ” The secret to getting whatever you want is to do whatever it takes.” 

In a nutshell, the story of Fritz Kreisler, the great violinist illustrates beautifully the relation between effort and success. After a virtuoso performance, he was approached by a woman who said, ” Mr. Kreisler, I would give my life to play as you have!”  to which he replied with a smile, ” I have!”

When we commit, things start to change for the better.

So many people spend their entire lives WISHING things will get better. They wish that everything was easier, and seem to hope that one day a magic wand will come down and sort out their mess.

NO WAY!

Things can only get better, when we ourselves commit to their improvement.

Things change when we change and not before.

If you put all you have into whatever you do, you won’t eliminate failure.

If you put everything you have got into everything you do, you won’t eliminate disappointment.

So why bother?

The answer is, “For your own peace of mind and mountain-climber-rejoices-at-the-summit-at-sunriseself-respect.”

When your personal philosophy is, ” I will do my best, regardless,” You will always stand tall, and always have the courage to take a risk.

Because RISK + COMMITMENT = QUALITY of LIFE

 

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