Imagine what your life would be like if you had a full group of people who could really be there for you, in the different ways you need.
What I know is that when you have close friendships in your life, the hard stuff that you may be dealing with falls into place a whole lot easier.
And when you don’t, it’s WAY harder to find the courage to go for your dreams, take good care of yourself, and love yourself for who you really are.
Today I am blessed to have a circle of friends that includes deep soul-full relationships with people who love me unconditionally and see me completely for the person I really am.
The people in my life that I can be completely vulnerable with, I consider them to be my Soul Family.
I also have an awesome group of people who I share common interests with in my work and other things – who I love to support and who support me They are my stability family. Without them, my day-to-day life would be flat and boring.
And other people who I occasionally just like to hang out with and have a good time, nothing too deep. These are my happy bunch.
And then there is that special man in my life. He is quickly becoming my home. We share so many of the same interests, and values that our time together is so easy and safe. He is my heart.
But it wasn’t always that way for me.
I spent a lot of years with tons of friends who I had a good time with but that were missing the intimacy I craved – my soul family was really lacking.
I let one or two people in really close but kept others at bay or tried to make people fit into deeper levels of friendship they couldn’t.
And then I made the smart choice to become wealthy in LOVE and create the right relationships with the right people for me.
This has been the decision that changed so many things in my life.
I am now supported by a network of people who are as dedicated to my happiness and success as I am for myself. Failure is not an option, because I have so many people rooting for my success.
So what is the definition of friendship?
People define friendship in many different ways.
It almost always means something different to you than it does to the person standing next to you.
This is my definition of friendship.
(I have always been one to value true friendship. I believe there are many that come into your life for a reason, but there are only a few who stay and travel the distance with you.)
Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of each other, in other words, it is a relationship of trust, faith and concern for each others feelings.
It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but who you choose to be.
Friendship requires loyalty, truth and complete understanding.
It involves communication when you don’t understand something. Communicating can be the difference between hurt feelings and the end of a friendship.
It can also be the factor that creates the feeling of contentment and mutual understanding when someone is lost and needs some time to heal.
It should be understood that not all friends are best friends.
One might come across numerous friends in this life but there are very few who will be there during your ups as well as stand by you when you are down.
How you recognize your best friend is they are the one who will understand your strengths and shortcomings and would be with you no matter what.
Best friends put aside pride and hurt feelings, and just care enough about the other to save the friendship.
I’ve been lucky in this life to have a best friend and a few good friends that I can count on to be there when I need them. Fear becomes a small issue when you have a best friend to share your fears with.
I found the perfect definition of friendship when researching for this blog, it is a japanese word, KENZOKU.
The word kenzoku, which when translated literally means “family.”
The connotation suggests a bond between people who’ve made a similar commitment and who possibly therefore share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past.
Many of us have people in our lives with whom we feel the bond described by the word kenzoku.
They may be family members, a mother, a brother, a daughter, a cousin.
Or like in my case, you may find the love of your life was someone from high school with whom you haven’t talked in decades.
The question then arises: why do we have the kind of chemistry encapsulated by the word kenzoku with only a few people we know and not scores of others?
WHAT MAKES A FRIEND WORTHY OF THE NAME?
- A commitment to your happiness. A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear. Something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you when you’re wrong.
- Not asking you to place the friendship before your principles. A true friend won’t ask you to compromise your principles in the name of your friendship or anything else. Ever.
- A good influence. A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential, not to indulge your basest drives.
Of course, we may have friends who fit all these criteria and still don’t quite feel kenzoku.
There still seems to be an extra factor, an attraction similar to that which draws people together romantically, that cements friends together irrevocably, often immediately, for no reason either person can identify.
But when you find these people, these kenzoku, they’re like priceless gems. They’re like finding home.
As I looked back and reflected on my year in 2013, the thing that stood out for me more than anything else was the influence, both good and bad, that my friendships had on my life this year.
That led me to this conclusion:
In our lives, we all experience greatness, and failure. Happiness and sorrow.
So what is it that holds humanity together?
What is the glue that binds us?
Without these people in our lives, we would lose all hope.
It has been speculated by some that the thing in Pandora’s Box is HOPE. If the box were to be opened all hope would be lost and humanity would cease to exist.
To me, my friendships, whether they be with my family, my soul family, or my co-workers, are the glue that hold Melanie together.
I am very blessed to have the amazing group of people that I do, and that group keeps growing and getting more and more beautiful each day.
I just wanted to take time today to write this post about friendships, so that I could give a big THANK YOU to everyone in my life.
It is my deepest wish that each of you will be blessed by the friendships in your life.