Having no Head

I have often been accused of being a POLLY ANNA.

When I am called Polly Anna,

I am not sure if I should say,

“Thank you.”


be offended.


Today I want to talk about Humor.

Laughing is as necessary to me as oxygen.

When I was just five years old my kindergarten teacher  nick-named me…BUBBLES.

She said that I was like a pretty little bubble floating through the air, making people smile.

When I was a teenager, my science teacher told me that I had the ability to say anything I wanted and never offend anyone. He said it was because of my friendly nature that I never hurt feelings when I spoke.

He also said I was like a magnet and that I just had a natural attraction that people could not resist.

So what is it that makes people want to be near me. To converse with me. To be my friend?

Is it my sense of humor?

Or my carefree attitude?

Is it my big heart that has room to love millions?

or… is it my sarcastic personality that keeps people on their toes?

I am always making a joke out of everything.

I am a lot like a predator… I sit and wait for just the perfect opportunity to pull a prank, or crack a joke.

Nobody is safe from my sarcastic personality.

But like I said, laughter is as necessary for my life as oxygen.


So let me ask a question.

When do we reach the age where teasing and acting silly is inappropriate?

Is there even such an age?

When we were kids we would skip through the halls at school singing at the tops of our lungs, never once wondering if we looked stupid.

We would laugh until we cried and our sides ached, and never felt  like there was anything wrong with that.

 When did we decide that being over the age of 21 meant that we could no longer be carefree and silly?

Like I said earlier, I am often called Polly Anna because I don’t seem to take anything to seriously.

I think it makes people uncomfortable that even though I have had suffered through many deep tragedies in my life, I don’t act depressed or picked on.

I think it confuses them that I am happy when, in their opinion, I should be sad.

When my son committed suicide I was devastated.

I wanted to turn back the clock.

I wanted to have the chance to hold him just one more time so bad that I would have made a deal with the devil if I would have thought it would do any good…

But I knew it wouldn’t.

I knew he was gone.

I knew I would never see him again in this lifetime.


I was at a cross roads in life.

Do I cease to exist, and die with my child.


Do I pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, and try to live again.

I choose life!

I still had so much to live for.

So much to be grateful for.

So many new people to meet.

So many pictures to paint.

So many memories to make.

How can anyone of us waste the gift of our lives on regret.

I am not saying that I don’t still hurt every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day because of his decision to end his life.I am just saying that suicide was his choice, not mine.

I choose to live, to love, and to continue to grow.

So here is another question.

What does it mean to be an adult?

Does it mean that you are always serious, focused, and driven?

Does it mean that there is little or no time for leisure because an adult needs to work and make money?

Does it mean that you are irresponsible if you laugh and play too much?

It is my opinion that a mature, confident, well-adjusted adult is someone who is responsible. They are dedicated to their responsibilities and the people who depend on them can do just that. Depend on them!

I believe that as an adult we have the responsibility to pay the bills that we acquire, on time and in full.

I believe that as adults we should maintain our homes in a ordely manner and that they should reflect our pride.

I believe that we should be good role models for our children, and when necessary be firm disciplinarians to them.

Being an adult is full of responsibilities and worries, but it is also the best time of our lives.

Sure, as an adult and single mother of four, life requires that in order for my family to have the things we need, I have to work more than 300hrs/month, and still keep up with the demands of my four children. There is little or no time for me to relax and unwind.


Does that mean that I cannot find joy in my everyday routine?

Does that mean that life is always a struggle and therefore laughing would be inappropriate or weird?

The reason people think I am naive is because I can be happy no matter what, for no reason in particular.

And that , I guess, is what makes me a Polly Anna.

I am often told that I need to face reality, and accept that this world is bad, and will never change.

People speak without understanding that I have stared monsters in the face and walked away unharmed.

I am a lot tougher than most people will ever understand.

In my opinion it takes a lot more courage to smile in the face of your struggles than it does to give in to the pain and become the very thing you profess to hate.

I have faced the loss of my entire world…

Seven years ago my son died, then my marriage fell apart, my husband left me and our four kids homeless and buried in debt. He had been a cruel and selfish husband who had piled 12 yrs of scars on my heart with his affairs and emotional abuse.

Yes folks, I know that this is a cruel world.

I know first hand just how unfair it can be.

I have been tortured by the best…(or worst.)


As if that wasn’t enough of a resume to convince you that I do recognize that this world can be cruel…

I was a correctional officer at the State prison for seven years.

Yes my friends, I know all about the hardship and unfairness of this world.


Why let it make me miserable?

What is the point of that logic?

In this world there is opposition in all things…


Which side of reality are you going to focus your attention?

The harsh cruelty of the world,


the beauty?

Every day we are given the chance to smile. To laugh. To appreciate the beauty that surrounds us.

Life is beautiful.

Life is precious.

I smile because I have been so blessed.

I have four of the most amazing children on this planet.

My parents are loving, dedicated, and extremely supportive of me.

I am surrounded by some of the greatest friends in the world.

I have the love of an amazing man.

I live in Gods country where the outdoors is a place of wonder and beauty, filled with the history of a thousand years.

I have a job that I love, where I am surrounded by children all day.

So, when you see me laughing, please don’t assume that I have lost my head.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

My head is right where it belongs…on my neck! 😉

I would like to issue a challenge to all of you.

Write down all of the painful things that you have had or are currently dealing with. Then sit down and pray in what ever fashion you pray…

and then burn the list.

Let the smoke represent your prayers being carried to Heaven.

Then have faith that they were heard and will be answered beautifully.

Then get up from your fire…and go find the things in your life to be grateful for…no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

If it makes you smile, add it to your gratitude list.

You will see your attitude change instantly when you FEAST on your BLESSINGS instead of your trials.

Then go out and become a blessing to others.

The greatest gift and blessing you can give to the people in your life is laughter.

Show your appreciation to them.

Tell them how you feel about them.

Don’t kitchen remodel39withhold your feelings out of fear of rejection.

Love deeply and completely…passionately.

and they will love you right back.

If by chance they don’t, let them go. Don’t allow the fact that they walked away from you to cause you any harm.

No…my head is not lost.

I do have a head…a head filled with laughter and joy.























































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