CHOICES? Yes its true, it really is all your fault!

We are never closer to realizing the next level of our own higher possibilities than when, by the light of a new awareness we see some old darkness within us, and then agree that we can no longer be that which we have been.

Guy Finley

Yesterday I talked about my relationship status, and how that does not need to effect happiness, or lack of it in life. Today I want to expand a little on that discussion.

The ability to enjoy an overflowing life REALLY does not depend on anything that resides outside of ourselves.

We alone are responsible for the life that experience on a daily basis.

The temporary feeling of being trapped in any negative experience is part of your lack of understanding of a simple principle:

It is easy to sincerely feel as though your choices are limited.

This is simply not true.

There is always a choice.

The problem is that most of us insist that we are right in all of our choices.

It is extremely important that you begin to see a simple truth:

Our present experience of life has been determined by the choices that we have already made.

Why run in circles around the same choices?

We already suspect that it will yield no real harvest of happiness, and now we must confirm this suspicion.

Nothing bad will happen! In fact, only something good can occur once we stop clinging to useless ideas.

If the life you are living is empty, pointless and without purpose or meaning…

Make no mistake…its because of your choices.

That’s right!

It really is all your fault.

The minute you accept that harsh truth, is the exact same minute that you acquire the power to change your life.

We live in a world that is determined to assign blame.

And when there is nobody or nothing to blame for our pain, instead of looking inward,we begin to seek a magic potion, or a powerful guru, or any number of victimizing ideas or practices.

There is only one solution to the problem of a lifeless life:

Accepting the responsibility for the life you have created by your choices.

You could say that your new choice is to stop choosing for yourself from yourself.

This is the first necessary step for changing your experience of life.

Here is something to help you see the wisdom of your new and higher choice.

If your choices so far have left you feeling dissatisfied and incomplete, you must stop blaming your selections and see that the problem lies with the chooser — you!

We CANNOT change other people, or the way that their individual choices affect us personally.

We can however, choose to walk away from the situation, or if walking away is not a choice, we can change the way we internalize their actions.

We can let go of the guilt and blame we feel and realize that just as our life is a result of our choices, so is theirs!

To further illustrate this point, I am going to share a story from my days as a Correctional Officer.

We had a man on Death Row. He was for all intents and purposes a Monster. He had been raised in a home with a mother who was a drug addict. She paid for her habit by prostituting herself and her family. She was violent with her children. In a word, she was a monster.

So, did one monster create the other?

Logically you could answer that question with a resounding YES!

It would be natural to assume that the inmate on Death Row was a product of his environment.


What about his older brother?

He came from the EXACT same environment, in fact one could argue that his childhood had been even worse, because as the older brother, he suffered all the same abuse, but was also responsible for his younger siblings.

So did he also become a monster?


He became one of the top Guardian ad Litem attorneys for the state of Utah.

The point I am trying to make here is simply this…


One brother chose to follow in his mothers footsteps, the other did not.

But each of them had a choice.

Neither could blame the mother for the outcomes of their lives.

They each made personal decisions that landed them where they were. Neither brother was forced at gun point to choose a life of crime, or a life of success.

They were both equally free to create their own reality…

Just as we all are.

You and what happens to you every day are the reflections of your understanding of this concept. If you understand the power of choice, your life will reflect that by the ease and simplicity of your nature.

A soul at peace… is peaceful to be around.

We are wrongly led to believe that life makes us into the kind of person we are.

The truth is that the kind of person we are and our awareness of our choices is the thing that makes life what it is for us!

This is why nothing can really change for us until we see that our unhappiness isn’t connected with the event.

The unpleasant or unhappy condition is NOT the event…

BUT our reaction to it.

What does this new knowledge mean to you?


Best of all, it means you can let go of the impossible and unbelievably self-punishing task of thinking that you are responsible for the way the world turns.

The only world you are responsible for is your inner world:

The world of your thoughts and feelings, impulses and desires.

I frequently tell my children to, ” Get over Yourself. You aren’t that important.”

That may initially seem like a very cruel thing for a mother to say to her children. And taken out of context it is cruel. But what I mean when I say this to them is simply, that you are NOT the center of the universe. People do not wake up in the morning and plan ways to make your life impossible. If someone hurts your feelings, chances are, they aren’t even aware that they did that to you. So do yourself a favor and accept the apologies that you will NEVER receive and CHOOSE not to allow their insensitivity to ruin your day.

By teaching my children this truth, they are learning that life is a result of your reactions to it.

And the good news is that they have the POWER to choose their reactions.

Your experience of life is determined by how clearly you can see into this inner world.

This new kind of seeing is safety and ultimately the root of all self-success, because when you know where not to step, your walk through life is a safe and happy one.

So, decide today to STOP looking for someone to blame your problems on because…

it really is all your fault.driver-seat

Accepting that truth IS the magic potion you are looking for.

It gives you all the power and authority to CHANGE the way life is showing up for you.

It shifts you from the passenger seat of life into the drivers seat…INSTANTLY!



I would love to hear your thoughts..please share.

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