I recently came across an interesting article that I had to share with everyone.
The article had lots of those celebrity photos that we all love to look at.
It showed pictures of celebrities with their makeup, hair and clothes all in perfect order for their public appearances…then side by side pictures of them au natural.
Here is a link to the article so that you can go see the pictures for yourself. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/09/take-off-your-fake-face/
In the glamor shots they look more glamorous, more “perfect,” more what we expect, but they certainly look (to me at least) more likable, more lovable, and more approachable without makeup.
Go check out the pictures and decide for yourself what you think.
So today I want to talk about attractiveness.
We all define it differently.
For me, if you put me in a dress with high heels, I am going to feel like a FROG!
I will not “BE” attractive no matter how beautifully I am dressed because I will be so uncomfortable and embarrassed that my inner light will not be visible to anyone…
I will not be any more attractive than a mannequin dressed for the Department store window.
The times in my life when I have received the most compliments about my appearance have been the times when I am in my favorite jeans and sweatshirt and I am outdoors enjoying nature.
So that has led me to the theory that when people are drawn to us, it is not necessarily what we are wearing or how perfect our hair and makeup are…
but rather the amount of light shining from within that attracts them to us.
Kinda like a moth to the flame…
So, are there things that we can do to amp up our attraction factor?
I have created a list of five things that I think would make each and every one of us more kissable. 😉
ONE: When someone asks you “Hayadoin?” Take a breath before you give the perfunctory answer of … “Fine, thanks!”
Do you even actually know the answer to the question,
“How **ARE** you doing?”
Are you living your deepest longing?
Is your heart soft and open like a child?
Or have you been closed down by the excessive need to produce and entertain?
When is the last time you honestly asked YOURSELF that question? Do you make time for daily practices that make your heart soft and open?
If not…START TODAY. IMMEDIATLY!
TWO: Even without being asked, a few times a day tell people what it is like to be inside of you in this moment.
The main point about such unexpected blurting of authenticity is not that it is utilitarian. While it does help to move the project forward, or help the bottom line, that is not the reason I suggest that you do this.
It serves a different agenda: connection and honesty.
When I make statements such as, ” Wow I just had a rush of passion run through me for no reason.” It shocks the person next to me enough that I now have their undivided attention, and can now tell them how I feel about them knowing they are hearing every word I say.
It also demonstrates something very powerful about you…
If you can honestly express your feelings about the small things, you will also be honest about the BIG things.
And that will create intimacy between you and the other person almost immediatly.
Start being brave enough to shock people out of their daydreams so that they can walk wide awake by your side.
THREE: Ask powerful questions.
Don’t wait for somebody to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown before you ask, “What’s’ going on with you?”
You can ask that question just because you are curious, not because you are trying to save them from jumping off a cliff.
Let people know you are genuinely interested in what they look like without makeup.
That you want to know them for who they really are, and that they are safe in exposing you to their truth.
Without trust, love is not even possible.
Show people daily by your willingness to ask them direct and sensitive questions that you really do care, and that they are NOT alone in this world.
Everyone has a strong need and desire to be seen and heard, so be willing to see and hear the people in your life.
FOUR: Give appreciation, lots of it.
Strangely enough, our personalities are much more attuned to criticism than gratitude.
The automated mind is a machine that tries to fix problems: so it focuses on things that needs to be changed.
We are all bombarded daily with comments from others telling us what we are doing wrong, or requests to complete some task…
but rarely do we hear words of appreciation, and when we do, they are a song to our soul.
Showing appreciation to your loved ones is the number one way to endear you more to them…it will make you nearly impossible to replace.
Your true heart (under the makeup) delights in people as they are, and it’s a great idea to give the microphone to that smiling heart as often as you can.
FIVE: Admit mistakes.
It can be the hardest thing to do, and easily slips into the undesirable territory of compulsive mea culpa.
The essential difference is to remember that you are not a bad person, you are a good person, with great intentions, who sometimes commits small boo-boos.
The more you can accept that with a smile…
the more kissable you will become.
The ultimate sexy person, is someone who is so comfortable in their own skin that they easily invite the world to laugh with them at the little imperfections in their lives.
That level of confidence is INTOXICATING.
So shall we join the dance, you and I?
Shall we wash away the layers of makeup and join Katy Perry, Beyoncé, Cameron Diaz and Jay Leno, in becoming more kissable?
I say YES.
Lets put aside our false selves and show the world how fabulous we really are.