Stop Adding Mass to Your Misery
Thinking about whatever it is that you wish wasn’t happening serves only to add mass to your misery.
The more you think about the WRONGNESS of any given situation, the more alive and powerful the situation becomes in your mind and…
before you know it, that 1 thing that is wrong in your life has spun out of control and you find yourself depressed and feeling that EVERYTHING is wrong in your life.
So is there a way to stop this insanity, and get off the hamster wheel of misery and catch a ride on the train to happiness?
(you know that I might have a suggestion, otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked that question ;P )
The #1 Secret to Being Relaxed, Carefree, and In Command
There is a hidden part of you that knows, without thinking about it, how to always be perfectly relaxed, carefree, and in command.
This hidden aspect to your personality in relationship to your present thoughts and feelings could be visualized by imagining how the spreading branches are related to the mighty oak tree.
Once you come into contact with its perfect strength and power, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.
Great masters of the past have called this part of us by different names – none any better than the rest – but the one that seems most complete is…your Christ filled spirit Self.
The #1 secret to being relaxed, carefree, and in command is to nurture and protect this supreme indwelling Self – to be in conscious contact with this celestial part of you that is untouched and untroubled by any event life brings your way.
You can think of your Original Fearless Self as the secret source behind all that you respect and admire, the water that makes possible the beautiful flowers of goodness, kindness, love, truth, and joy.
When I think about this part of me I like to remind myself of the story of Jesus on the boat with his disciples during the storm.
23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him.24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
The bible promises me peace if I follow and obey Jesus. So when the “Wheel of Misery” starts to spin in my mind, I like to stop and remind myself that I have nothing to fear because Jesus is the captain of my boat.
I have found a few other tips to use in stressful times to regain my relaxed, carefree, in command self.
Following are six simple exercises to help you begin to shed the barriers that stand between you and this special part of yourself so that you can begin to release and realize its extraordinary power in your life.
1. Stop looking for other people’s approval to determine your own self-worth.
Your self-worth is not determined by what others think of you.
It is however determined by what YOU think of YOU.
So take a few minutes each morning before you leave home and say out loud to yourself at least three things that make you special and unique.
2. Stop feeling responsible for the happiness or unhappiness of others.
This one was huge for me. I spent 20 yrs in an abusive marriage because I had bought into the lie that I was responsible for my husbands feelings.
I was NEVER able to be smart enough, or pretty enough, or make enough money, etc to create happiness FOR him.
He was miserable no matter how hard I tried. I very nearly lost myself completely in my quest to make him happy.
Learning that everyone is responsible for their own feelings was a major breakthrough in life for me.
I now enjoy healthy, fulfilling relationships because I don’t feel the burden of their happiness as my own any more.
3. Stop thinking you can change what happened yesterday by reliving it today.
The past is GONE.
You can never change what has already happened.
Technology has not been invented that can turn back the hands of time and give us a chance for a re-do.
If your choices yesterday caused you pain, instead of feeling useless emotions that will just add to the problem, try writing down the experience.
Then, list three positive things you learned from your experience.
Next write down ways to avoid the same mistake in the future.
That really is a much better use of your time than regret will ever be.
4. Stop spending time with people who have agreed to live with negative states.
If you have a person in your life that is ALWAYS negative. Don’t just walk away from them…RUN. Run as fast as you can before they suck you into their vortex of doom.
There are people in life who find it comforting to be in the middle of a crisis at all times and will even manufacture one if there isn’t one around already.
They are a burden to everyone they come in contact with.
They do not want friends, or comfort, they want CRISIS!
If you are in their immediate vicinity, you will probably be swept along in the mess they are making.
So…my advice here is to remove them from your life. They will not change.
5. Stop believing you can only be as successful as you are willing to push yourself through life.
The day I stopped trying to FORCE life to conform to me and instead began to surrender to my destiny, was the exact same day life became easier.
We can’t always force life to work out for us the way we PLAN it.
Life has a mind of its own!
I have learned that it is a better use of my resources to just have goals and to constantly be moving in the direction of them, and trusting that if I stay alert and prepared I will be given the things I need to succeed.
Life is a journey, so find a comfortable seat and enjoy the ride.
There really is no need for you to push the train along, it has and engine to do that for it,
and… your life is no different.
6. Stop explaining or justifying your actions to yourself or others.
When I make a decision I have learned to stop trying to reason it out with anyone.
I just state my position knowing that there will be people who understand me and those who do not…
NO matter what I choose this will be the case 100% of the time.
So stop wasting time trying to convince anyone that you are right.
If you will stop and really take a minute to think about these 6 actions, you will realize that you probably have a story, both good and bad for all 6 actions in your own life.
These 6 things are issues that I believe we all struggle with from time to time, and if we are honest with ourselves will admit that one of these 6 things is currently holding us back right now..today.
In 8 days I will be celebrating another birthday, and each year as I get older, I also find myself settling into myself more.
And with that settling comes comfort, and security that has truly created for me a life that is relaxed, carefree, and one where I am in command of my emotions.