“Who am I to SAY that?”
“If you really SEE me, you won’t want me.”
When these type of thoughts come up for you, do you shrink and bury your head in the sand?
Do they stop you cold?
There’s this fancy, funky message going around town that
claims that when those difficult emotions and doubts
come up, you can actually learn to transform them into
a healing balm, leaving you in great shape to grab your
megaphone and sing your message to the masses.
You can’t pick up a magazine without reading this.
You can’t watch afternoon talk shows
without hearing this.
This message that our insecurities can actually become our strengths is mesmerizing, to say the least.
How do you go about changing a problem into a blessing?
How do you begin to say the things that you have previously been afraid to say?
From what I have been reading it’s about getting truly embodied so you can share your soul’s work with confidence, power — and grace; So you can say what it is you need to say, even when you are afraid to.
Fear is natural when you have something big —
and meaningful — to share.
And it’s NEVER going to go away.
Which means that in order to make your mark on the world and make a positive difference in your community, you need to find the courage to commit to stepping into your power and to operate from a place of vulnerability and authenticity.
So lets talk today about how one steps into their power and authority…
Because let’s not pretend that doing this is as easy as making up our minds to do so.
If all we had to do was simply decide to be powerful, everyone would already be powerful!
The cold hard truth of the matter is that becoming ANYTHING is hard.
We see this in nature when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
Going from insecure to secure is every bit as painful, and transformative as it is for the caterpillar to become a butterfly.
The last nine years of my life have been some of the darkest and ugliest to date.
I have had some soaring bright spots, too, but the low points were remarkably low.
When you run your car out of gas to completely empty, the sediment that usually stays at the bottom of the tank starts freely moving through the car’s engine, gunking things up good.
Simply put, my abusive marriage, bearing and raising 4 children, being a step-mom to three more, and being a service-junkie ran my tank to empty.
These are the things that worked in the past to sustain my life, but about nine years ago, it all stopped working. with some pretty wacky consequences for my little body-mind-soul.
The sediment that moved through my engine was dark, bitter and debilitating.
the truth is, I’m still not completely out of it.
I’m not fully de-gunked.
I’m not totally in the bright sunshine with neatly numbered smiley bullet points to
power point out for you.
But the exciting thing for me is that I know how my story will end:
It will end with an undiscovered huge reservoir of my strength, tapped.
With a sloughing of half-truths, revealing a more luminescent me.
With red-hot clarity.
With the kind of sweet laugh that’s only possible when you’ve made it back from the dead,
even more alive.
Wrapped in the arms of my Savior.
But I’m not at the end of my story yet.
I’m in it.
I’m learning how to share my story.
To speak my truth.
I am learning to be seen and heard.
I have discovered that transparency brings us closer
not further apart.
I know vulnerability is the strongest thing I can practice.
Nine years ago, the rumblings of a volcano were beginning to vibrate in my soul. I had the strong sense that my life was going to suffocate me if something didn’t change.
I was on the verge of a major breakdown.
It was during this time that my precious son Victor ended his own life.
My downward spiral was spinning so rapidly that I literally had no stability or balance in my life at all.
What the vicious dark beauty of the breakdown was saying to me was this:
“Sweet cheeks, it’s. not. working! Just in case you
have any doubt, I’ll shred it now! stop. shift it. fix it. heal it. rethink it. mend it. You will not be allowed to go any further until you do.”
It was at the very bottom of my downward spiral, when I had nowhere else to go. Life had gotten as hard as I could handle it being, that I feel flat on my face, and literally screamed at God.
I yelled, ” Would it kill you to give me a little help here?”
And help me He did!
He picked me up, dusted me off, and filled me with his love.
Because he had compassion for me…I now desire to be compassionate.
Because he forgave me…I now have the ability to forgive.
Because he has given me so much… I find great joy in organizing events that raise money to assist others in need.
Because he has shown me my worth…I now have the courage to be SEEN and HEARD.
It my deepest prayer that anyone who is going through any type of break down in their life, will be lifted up out of the ashes and born anew.
That they too will discover reservoirs of strength that they didn’t know they possesed, that they will feel the sloughing off of untruths, see their life with red hot clarity, and feel the loving arms of their Savior wrapped around them.
That they will no longer be afraid to share their story…
That they will stand up and be SEEN and HEARD.