“Whether words are uttered or not, lifting the heart to God while one is occupied with miscellaneous duties is the vital thing. Incessant prayer is the only way to cultivate a joyful attitude in times of trial.”
Robert L. Thomas
Alpha Dogs and Queen Bees are those people in positions of power whom others follow and defer to.
They savor control, making the rules, and leading.
It’s often hard for them to grasp how surrendering to forces larger than the will, such as spirituality, can be more powerful and effective than pure effort.
Today we are going to see if we can uncover some ways to get out of our mind and into our hearts.
“Love conquers all things; let us surrender to love.” VIRGIL
Surrendering to new kinds of power lets you approach the reptilian brain with more discernment.
You are opening your heart, which in turn, will allow you to experience feelings of ease, which will lead to the ecstasy of surrender.
This heart centered approach does not have the super-intense adrenaline surge that so many of us crave, but what it does have is the peaceful, luscious, restorative sensations, that I have come to know.
It is crucial to get used to feeling THAT good.
Surrendering in this sense means that you will begin to wean yourself off of the addictive sensations of adrenaline power surges, and begin to embrace, even look forward to the pleasure of higher ground emotions and solutions to life’s everyday challenges.
A really good example of how this change effects a person’s life I am going to quote former CEO of Time Warner, Gerald Levin.
” Business had always been about leverage and negotiation. I had to get one up on you, to kill the competition. I held my cards close to my vest. I would divulge what served my purpose, not yours. In the old power paradigm, if I showed weakness, I wouldn’t be effective. So I’d better be Superman in board meetings.
When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, the company said, “Tell no one.” I went into surgery under an assumed name. Employees thought I was on vacation. The fear was that as CEO, if I showed vulnerability, the company would get attacked by a foe. It’s a Neanderthal mentality.
I was at the top of my corporate game when my son, a teacher in the Bronx, got murdered. The AOL- Time Warner merger that i had created was in trouble. To cope, I shut down my feelings. I didn’t know who I was or where I was going.
Then I fell in love with my wife, Laurie. She had a healing center which was based on collaboration and spiritual values, a radically different paradigm than corporations.
So, eventually, after leaving Time Warner, I started working there. Surrender meant giving up the illusion that I alone control my environment and my destiny. Nor did I carry the impossible burden of having all the answers. Since death, loss, and change are inevitable, I had to craft my identity around something deeper that would last longer than the trappings of external power. Once I could Surrender to the sense of being connected to a greater spirituality, I used my experience in our healing work to serve others. Now I am on a spiritual journey, one that I intend to savor every step of the way.”
WOW! What a beautiful shift in his mindset.
If a man as powerful as Gerald Levin, can get out of his Mind and into his Heart, I imagine that we can release our death grip on control, and relax into a heartfelt life as well.
His story shows us how we can learn about how power is conventionally seen versus how it could be.
Humans and other animals are driven by the alpha force.
Packs of wolves and dogs have an Alpha male and female
that eat and mate first.
Chimpanzees bow when their alphas pass by.
Alphas assert authority with eye contact, it’s what’s called the “stare”.
They will never be the first one to avert their eyes.
When I was a correctional officer at the State Prison, we were taught this skill in a class.
A psychologist taught us how to stand in an Alpha stance,
speak in an Alpha tone,
and to stare down our opponent.
They taught us this because they knew that in a correctional facility, weakness could get you killed.
Being an Alpha personality, can either bring out the good or the bad in us.
The problem, that most Alphas encounter, is they tend to stay steeled-up and guarded. It feels very foreign to them to be soft and loving.
But there is great strength to be found in “soft power”.
With it you can utilize diplomacy, collaboration, compromise, and intuition to win people’s hearts.
The soft powers aren’t less powerful than the hard ones, you just have to know when and how to use them, and how they can compliment each other.
Why do we become Alpha Dogs, and Queen Bees?
I believe it originates from our temperament, our upbringing, and our education. It is crucial that we learn to enlist both hard and soft power in order to master the art of surrender.
I appreciate the potency of hard power with its energizing effect on our mind, and seek to embody this type of power in a balanced way in my own life.
But I also understand that in order to succeed, I must also embrace the softer power as well. It is an essential, and Blissful part of who we are.
In my opinion, there is nothing “soft” about this power.
It is just refered to that because in order to access it you need to engage a relaxed, receptive, mind that is willing to be guided by forces that are outside of itself, and much larger and powerful than the linear mind.
This where the concept of spiritual surrender comes in.
You must learn to do it again and again, not just once or twice. Gradually you will begin to let down your guard more and more often.
Trust this power, and let go.
Spiritual Surrender is necessary if you are going to start living your life with a loving heart informing all of your ambitions.
Spirituality, as I am defining it, is a quest for meaning that goes way beyond the things we can see, and takes us right into the realm of the Divine.
In order to experience the relationship between man and God, you must commit to a daily renewal of your mind.
It is a lifelong work of opening your heart, which is your link to something larger.
Doing this WILL affect the way you interact, the way you love, and the way you forgive.
Spirituality shines light into the darkness, it lights up those dark parts of us that were previously hidden, and allows them to be seen and healed.
I will end today with a quote from the poet Rumi.
Give your life to the one who already owned your breath and your moments. If you don’t… you’ll be foolishly ignoring your dignity and purpose.”
Sure, you can go it alone without partnering with God, but as I’ve seen personally, it gets pretty tiring lifting every brick myself.
Because I was depending on my own strength and personal power…which is PUNY in comparison to Gods power that is contained in my heart.