A mother under construction




“When I learned I was going to have another baby, I rebelled against God.

My health was not good and I looked upon having another child with great sorrow and unhappiness.”

   My  story poignantly demonstrates God’s hand of providence in the unplanned pregnancy of my daughter Sarah, and also of my struggle to understand my calling as a mother.



    But before I tell you our story, I would like to ask a question.

How many of today’s mothers have similar thoughts and feelings about their own motherhood?

How many mothers-even Christian mothers-identify with my negative emotions at the beginning of my pregnancy?

Have you had times when you too looked upon motherhood with great sorrow and unhappiness?

I know that at one time I did.

As I reflect on my own past struggles with motherhood, I can’t help but believe these unpleasant emotions are probably more common than we mothers care to, or even dare to, admit.
    So how do we overcome them?

We must remember that contrary to how we may feel at times, motherhood was, and still is, God’s idea.

According to His Word, it is a calling that is priceless in value, privileged in service, and promised with a blessing.

   First of all, God wants us to understand the value of our calling.

Contrary to the clamor of our present culture, God deems the worth of a mother priceless.

How do I know?

Because in  (Genesis chapter 3) God tells of the very first mother, Eve, and that through her seed a Savior would come.

God Incarnate came to this earth through the womb of a woman, and that gave motherhood a price too high to be counted.


baby jesus










It was God’s stamp of approval that motherhood is very significant.

    Think about it for a moment.

Eve, deceived into a sinful act that brought God’s judgement into the world, now had a part–a unique part–in bringing grace and mercy to that same world through childbearing.

Through her seed, the lost ground would be recovered and the doom of evil would be reversed.

For Eve, childbearing wasn’t an option.

It was a chance to be a vessel of value, a chance to be the mother of a godly and priceless seed. That seed, sent from above, would save the world.

And so Eve became, as her name means, the mother of all living.

To be a mother is indeed, a priceless calling.

I will never forget the day that God opened my eyes to the blessing of raising my own children.

(At this time in our lives, I had only been a single mother for a few weeks. My divorce papers hadn’t even been completed yet. I was still in shock that my marriage had fallen apart, and that I was going to have to find the strength and courage to raise my four children alone.)

Exhausted from my two-year-olds persistence to read her a book, I sat down and hurried begrudgingly through the book (there were so many more important things to do!).

It was a pop-out book about ants.

As I sat reading about the ants to my daughter, all of a sudden the Lord got my attention.

To my amazement, I discovered something the queen ant did before she laid her eggs.

What did she do?

She bit off her wings!

Yes, the queen ant bites off her wings so that she can tend to her new children and not fly away from the nest.

And there it was…

As I sat looking at a huge pop-out ant, staring me in the face,  the Lord told me He needed to clip off my wings.

“How can you raise godly children,” He said, “without giving them your time and attention?” 

I could not hold back the tears.

My little Sarah then asked me, “Are you afraid of the big pop-out ant, Mommy?”

“I’m okay,” I reassured her.

But I was better than okay, for the first time in years, I think I finally understood just how much my children needed me.

 He clipped my wings so I would not fly away from my nest.

queen ant



As a single mother, I was acting out both roles for my children, mother and father…and feeling very overwhelmed.

That day, I realized that I didn’t need to struggle so hard, I just needed to do what comes so naturally for us mom’s and nurture and love my precious children.

    I  love my children deeply, but as the years go by, I continue to be a mother under construction.









Yet, by the grace of God, it has now become my privilege to be with my children.

As the old adage goes, there really is “no place like home” for me anymore.

The Lord also wants women to understand that the faithful mother can expect the promise of blessing to come, not only to them, but to their entire family as well.

    One blessing a mother can experience is a deeper work of change in her life-a change that makes her more Christ-like.

Angela Guffey, in her book Tender Mercy for a Mother’s Soul, writes that:

“Motherhood is an ongoing, penetrating lesson in grace.”

She says that mothers begin with just a measure of grace but are soon led to abundant blessings.

“God comes into our lives through our babies and begins the powerful work of change.”

Through my children, He has taken me by the hand and led me to a selfless place where I could have never gone by myself.

Is this not a blessing?

What godly changes has God wrought in your life through the lives of your children?

I started todays blog with a somewhat shocking statement about my feelings when I discovered I was pregnant with my 4th child.

Following the delivery of my 3rd child, I underwent surgery to have my tubes tied, so that I would not ever get pregnant again. I had suffered complications during delivery, and decided I needed to be done having children.

So you can only imagine my surprise, when I discovered, that despite the surgery, I was in fact pregnant.

When I received the news, I was filled with sorrow and frustration, because I knew that this meant nine months of bed-rest for me in order to carry this child to term.

I had a 4 yr old, and a 2 yr old, in addition to Victor who was 13, and Tyler who was 11.

How was I ever going to manage all my responsibilities when I was going to be flat in bed for nine months?

But God had a plan for my life.

The day my step son Victor ended his life, Sarah was eight months old.

The night that Victor died, I was afraid to go to sleep.

I didn’t know how to wake up and live in a world without Victor.

But…Eventually, I did fall asleep…

And the next morning, I was awaked by the cries of my beautiful little Sarah.

She was a tiny, helpless, infant that NEEDED me to get up.

She could not feed herself, and her diaper needed to be changed.

My other children were old enough that I could have easily slipped into a depression that I may never have recovered from.

But God, in his wisdom, had sent me a little Angel that would pull me through this time in ways that were nothing short of miraculous.

Sarah was a gift from God.

Her life is the very thing that set me on the path of Faith.

She is a child of wonder and imagination.

She sees the world as a place filled with beauty.

She is a kindred spirit to every animal that she encounters, even snakes!

She has an artistic ability that far exceeds her 8 yrs.

And a natural beauty and grace that will serve her well in her lifetime.




So, I may have been angry, and filled with sorrow when I discovered that I was pregnant, but now I thank God every single day for giving me my daughter…

She truly is ONE IN A MILLION!

She will someday grow up and MOVE MOUNTAINS!




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