Just taking IT!


“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

Gautama Buddah

beautiful-me_Doodles-Invigorate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remember when I was younger, my self-esteem was rock solid.

I was ten feet tall and bullet proof.

But, I when I married my first husband just two short weeks after high school graduation and the abuse started,I began to doubt myself.

I became a very insecure person who had self esteem issues that became rampant.

insecure woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

They unconsciously controlled just about every social interaction I was in.

And I didn’t even know it.

For example, when I received a compliment, I always felt compelled to respond by giving a reason for the compliment.

Other: “Wow, the blue in your eyes really stand out today!”

Me: “Yeah that’s because of the shirt I’m wearing.”

Or…

Other: “I really like your hair today.”

Me: “I tried styling it differently using some gel and a trick I learned from the person who cut my hair.”

Or…

Other: “I really like the way you treated that homeless person with compassion.”

Me: “Everybody has tough times, and I’m glad to be able to help a little bit.”

Now all of those examples seem benign normal social interactions.

However, they’re MISSING something.

See, in each of them there is an unconscious lack of self-confidence.

It might be huge.

It might be small.

That depends on the person.

Do you ever find yourself behaving this same way?

In each of those interactions there is an explanation as to -why- we are the way we are.

In those examples, I was trying to *justify* a good quality about myself…

Because deep down I believed that being me simply wasn’t “enough.”

It wasn’t enough for me to just take it and say

                                                    “Thank you.”

woman-low-self-esteem

 

 

 

 

 
No.

Because I felt inadequate, I had to create a reason why the compliment could be “allowed.

It wasn’t allowed as it was, on its own, simply because another person was appreciating me.

Part of me felt unworthy enough to receive the appreciation.

I felt unconsciously “not good enough” to be complimented authentically.

I couldn’t take it.

And so rather than just saying “Thank you,” I had to rationalize (give “rational lies”) to cover over my perceived inadequacy.

I share this with you because so many of us don’t fully receive compliments from others.

We gloss them over.

We don’t take them in.

We don’t allow other peoples’ appreciation to personally *affect* us.

We have difficulty just being seen and acknowledged for the amazing Divine beings that we are.

divine beings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took me years to learn to say “Thank you” when receiving a compliment.

Now, however, I always do my best to receive the compliment and let it land with me.

No rationalization.

No explanation.

No reason why.

Just simply receiving the gift that another person has given me.

I still find myself slipping back into old habits and explaining “WHY”…

but I am trying hard to catch myself when I do it, and just simply say, “Thanks”

In your own life, I challenge you…

For the next few days –whenever you receive a compliment– limit your reply to saying “Thank you” with a smile while making eye contact with that person.

Nothing more.

I challenge you to “just take it” and see what you discover. 🙂

 

Now my next personal challenge will be learning to stand up for myself when I am being taken advantage of, and mistreated.

I would love to hear your suggestions, or tips that you have used to enable you to stand up to the “Bullies” in your life.

This is a really big issue in my life right now that I would love some input on.

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Just taking IT!

  1. I can relate to this! I first noticed my life theme of “I’m not ____enough”, as I went through therapy at the DV center. I then started noticing others with this same belief/fear. My profession, a special education teacher, by nature, has me and others feeling like the best we have is not enough…there are so many children with so many needs…and not near enough time. I like your next area of exploration-standing up to those who mistreat…the only thing that worked with the bully (my ex-husband/abuser) was to cut contact (difficult because of the kids)… It took time, and he still uses the children to bully me, but any attention for his antics just made things worse. Going “no contact” is not the same as cowering-it takes enormous amounts of strength and courage to step out of the “bully wheel”…💜

    1. Thank you so much for your input…It is actually exactly what I needed to hear. I know that because while I was reading it, I could feel that familiar resistance that pops up so often when you are hearing truth.
      I just wanted to let you know that you really helped, and I appreciate you caring enough to share your experience with me.
      God Bless.

      1. I really enjoy your blog and art. It touches on life projects that are becoming part of my journey. I hope the resistance led to a positive truth…I’m in an “actions speak louder than words/fruit of the spirit” place right now…and resistant to accepting the truth…I don’t want what I see to be the truth (if that makes any sense). 💛prayers and blessings

I would love to hear your thoughts..please share.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s