Day 18: Hopium dependency: Allowing Ourselves to be “AWFUL” and Make Mistakes.


The fear of making mistakes can prevent you from

trying anything new or

moving out of your comfort zone.

This is such a terrible waste of your skills

and your talents

and robs you from truly enjoying your life.

Mistakes mistakes (1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Have The Courage To Fail?

That is a bold statement, “do you have the courage to fail”?

It could almost be seen as a personal challenge,

And… Please, by all means DO take it that way if you would like,

because I am betting that if you do,

you are one of the most courageous people I know.

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What does it mean, to have the courage to fail?

Doesn’t failure mean that you didn’t do something right?

Or that you didn’t achieve what you set out to achieve?

That you didn’t do what you wanted to do,

you fell short,

messed up,

let other people down,

let yourself down,

etc?

Yes. 

And is that a bad thing?

Not necessarily.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“Mistakes are not to be avoided but embraced. 

They are signals that you’re moving into new territory,

breaking new ground, making progress.”

 

Doesn’t that sound better than some of the negative things we hear about making a mistake?

 

We all make mistakes

and we make them

EVERY DAY.  

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When you learn the importance of allowing yourself to be AWFUL and make a few mistakes, your life will become less of a battle, and more of an adventure.

Lets look at it this way:

Babies make the cutest mistakes.

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When they fall,

we laugh

and sometimes they giggle back at us.

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We don’t think less of them as people,

we think it’s adorable that they’re learning.

 

Now, translate that to a teenager who trips and falls…

 Why is that suddenly no longer adorable?

It is because we think “you should have learned to walk by now”.

We don’t laugh at them any more. Now we offer them only…

Judgement.

Failure.

Doom!

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Is it any wonder that by the time we are adults we are

so afraid to be awful and make mistakes?

We get a big red check mark every time we get something wrong at school.

We get laughed at every time we say something silly.

We get kicked out of clubs and off of teams when we fail to perform at the level they expect.

 

Every time we turn around we are being told that failure is NOT an option.

But what if we could start to see things a little differently?

I was surfing the internet a while ago and came across an interesting blog post by Alexander Kjerulf.

The title of the post was,

“ALLOW YOURSELF TO MAKE MISTAKES. VERY, VERY PUBLICLY.”

I am going to share a small excerpt from that post today.

I was looking through Christine Kane’s wonderful blog. and lemmetellya, the lady can write. She’s smart and funny – and that’s in addition to being a great musician and singer.

On her site I found a post called 8 things you get when you order my new DVD. Reason number 8 is my favorite:

8 – You get to feel better about yourself.

So, the concert ends with a song called The Problem with Jazz. And we mess it up! Right at the end! Right at the last drum beat! The band falls to pieces. Not only do we mess up a song — but it’s the end of the whole evening!

Now, as you know, these things can be edited. We could’ve re-filmed it. We could’ve even cut to a different shot and taken out the sound. But I was in the editing suite, and I said, “Nah. Let’s leave it. It’s funny.”

Here’s why I left it, really: If I can screw up the ending of a show in front of 400 people and thousands of other viewers, then you don’t have to feel so bad if you mess up, say, at your office in front of five or ten or twenty-five people. Or when you give a speech. Really, it’s a way to make you feel better about yourself. Most music videos don’t offer such a raw glimpse of human foibles. They’re all edited and perfected, and so you don’t get a chance to see the human side of performing.

Well, now I’ve changed that trend! By next week, you’ll see videos of Celine Dion tripping over one of her dancers and falling face first onto the stage and then laughing it off as she hoists her sequin gown back over her left buttock. Just you wait!

That’s hilarious. And it totally sealed it for me – I had to order the DVD just to see them get it wrong :o)

Christine’s point is also a great reminder to allow ourselves to fail – and to be seen failing. This goes great at work too.”

 

How great is that?

I love that attitude.

Her confidence and kindness just blows my mind…

How much better would this would be if we could all be more willing to be awful and make mistakes every once in a while?

Some of the best work that Brenda and I have done are things that were at first a mistake, but as we kept on trying we soon began to see that we had created something amazing.

We lovingly refer to these projects as “Our happy mistakes”.

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The car in the bottom left corner was horrible at first.

We could not get the bumper right to save our lives.

But…because we have agreed to ALWAYS give ourselves permission to make mistakes, we just kept working at it until it was right.

The mural ended up AMAZING. The boy we were painting it for and his parents were thrilled with it.

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art is knowing what to keep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peter Drucker’s said that companies should find

all the employees who never make mistakes and

fire them,

because the only people who never mess up

are those who never do anything interesting.”

 

So one of my favorite ways to decrease my dependency on Hopium is to allow myself to be AWFUL and make a few mistakes every once in a while.

 

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Day 18: Hopium dependency: Allowing Ourselves to be “AWFUL” and Make Mistakes.

  1. Perfectly said! I believe mistakes are meant to be, some people need to take a chill pill and get over them…. How are you ever suppose to learn, we all learn from our mistakes and sometimes they are the happiest times in our lives… Heck look at me and you the best and happiest mistake ever… I don’t know what I would do without you! Love you tons girl ❤ you are the best friend a girl could ever want…

    1. We do have so much fun together don’t we…
      Life is meant to be a place for learning and growth. Happiness can and will be found when we understand that we will make mistakes as we are learning, and that it is ok to fall down once in a while.
      I love you right back!

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