One of my friends purchased a set of angel wings that I had made, and when she did she said, “You know why I love Angel Wings.”
Unfortunately, I know all too well why she loves Angel Wings.
We have both had to stand at the gravesite and say “goodbye” to one of our children.
That is a pain that no mother should ever have to live through. But, as we all know, millions of mothers experience this every day somewhere in the world.
So this conversation has led me to ponder on life.
Some lives seem riddled with sadness and even tragedy.
Many live a life of grief and despair.
And yet there are others who experience similar lives who somehow become stronger and decide to make a difference in the world.
What is it that determines a persons attitude during and after a tragedy?
I believe we have total control over how we respond to things that happen to us.
We can choose to remain a victim
After we have worked through our grief, we can decide to come out swinging.
I have had my fair share of sadness in my life –
Some from mistakes I’ve made,
Others from mistakes others have made.
The thing that will never cease to amaze me is how those tragedies have become the very thing that led me in the direction in my life that I am currently traveling.
It was those mistakes and the pain have given me purpose and direction.
I have come to understand that the worst thing any of us can do is to begin to measure ourselves according to our “possibilities”.
The reason I say this is because all such estimations of ourselves are always based in some secretly embraced evaluations of our own past.
And the one thing I know is that our past is tainted with emotions that prevent us from seeing ourselves clearly.
Memories can fade and gain a rosy glow, tainted by the passage of time and the vagaries of the mind.
People remember things with both fondness and regret.
I have found that when I am able to give myself over to what seems impossible to me…
Those are the moments when I am able to feel truly fulfilled in this life.
That was the very power that I utilized to transcend who I had been!
Never believe in any negative thought or feeling that would have you believe, “There’s no way!”
Always remember instead that real life is a secret and vital flux of possibilities rising up from the ground of what seems improbable.
What do I mean by this?
Think of how a spring flower manages to bloom in a once frozen field.
Only those who never give up, who persist with their wish to find and fulfill the promise of themselves, make this truly self-liberating discovery:
Places once seemed like they were impassable barriers to happiness will magically become the very bridges you will cross to find your purpose and meaning in life.
BUT only if they are welcomed as a part of the journey.
Let me close with some sayings that have helped me throughout life:
Be kind to everyone no matter how they treat you. You don’t know what kind of day/life they have had.
The most important thing to look for in a partner is kindness and honesty.
Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. It doesn’t matter the cut of the cloth – we are all the same.
Very few things are emergencies. Take a deep breath and don’t chase after it. It will be there tomorrow.
Fix the problem, not the blame.
Whenever I look at an elderly person I try to think of how I can help them. Usually it is just a smile and a friendly conversation. Sometimes it is more. I might be the only person who talks to them all day. I feel better and so do they.
Every morning I am happy to have another day. I smile and am aware of how lucky I am.
Whenever I see someone who is hurting, who is homeless, who is afraid, I think, “There, but for the Grace of God, go I.” I don’t see them as different. I see them as someone who is just like me and who is carrying burdens I’m fortunate enough not to have to carry.
Figure out what you want on your tombstone. THAT will decide your purpose, the legacy you want to leave. I hope mine will be “She earned her rent on earth.”
You know you really love someone when you would take on all their pain if you could. How many times have I pled, “Please, God. If something bad is going to happen to one of my children today, let it be me instead.”
Today’s post is dedicated to Deborah for leading my thoughts in this direction today.
It is also dedicated to anyone who has ever had a broken heart.