On Friday I pointed out how dangerous the two words “IF ONLY” were…
Today I am going to dive into that idea a little bit deeper.
How differently would your thoughts be if the instant they occurred they would pop out and onto your forehead like a billboard?
Would you still talk to yourself the same way if those thoughts were visible for others to see?
We all put on a brave face for the world to see, but inside most of us are being held captive by our “INNER BULLY”
We have all heard the phrase, “You are your own worst enemy” about a million times…
In what way?
It’s partly because of the inner bully that lives inside of us and never shuts up.
It speaks to us in our very own voice, says “I” (so we identify with everything it says), and blurts out an endless barrage of criticisms and put downs:
“I’m such an idiot.”
“Why did I do that after I told myself I wouldn’t?”
“Nobody loves me.”
“I’ll never change.”
Yadda yadda yadda….
It also likes to blame others:
“Why did they do that to me?”
“It’s your fault that I’m the way I am.”
It’s all so painful — and none of it is helpful, healing, or true.
On the other hand —
this INNER BULLY, and the level of misunderstanding it represents —
is the REAL problem —
the ONLY problem — you have.
It is what stands in the way of your experiencing the happy, fulfilling life you’re meant to know.
It is what keeps you from attempting the things you are afraid to try. . .
It prevents you from connecting with higher sources of strength and wisdom that are just waiting to banish your heartache and help you over every barrier.
It’s the INNER BULLY that keeps you from reaching your true potential, and makes you your own worst enemy.
So, why do you put up with it?
And is there a way to get free of it?
The short answer is, YES — there is a way to be free of it!
The quickest way that I have found to banish the INNER BULLY that attempts to beat me up is to remember one simple fact:
I am a divine creation, created in the image of God.
This scripture keeps my mind focused when I realize the mean voice inside my head is trying to take over again.
I silence it, by surrendering my life, my heart, and my mind to the will of the Lord.
“The only problem you ever have is what you have yet to understand about yourself.” —Guy Finley
The wisdom found within that quote contains the solution to this dilemma.
Hidden away in all of us lives a
“Gang of Heated Demands”,
and Painful Self-Pictures
That we don’t even know are there until —
when the moment is “right” —
they pop out, distorting our experience of life.
But once we experience the miracle of sight, and understand the true nature of these dark reactions —
we can finally see them for what they really are —
And the very first thing that happens is…
They lose their power over us.
What happens next is even more amazing:
The power they once had to hold us down Magically Becomes our power to harness their force and use it to set ourselves free!
But it’s not easy.
The process of gaining this much-needed inner knowledge is a challenge to all of us because at first it seems to be a field day for the inner bully, which gets louder than ever.
Here’s why . . .
There’s no denying that when you start on the road to self-discovery, where your aim is self-liberation, at some point you will face a bit of a difficult circumstance.
One day you will catch yourself in the act of hurting yourself,
or hurting others.
It’s a shock,
It’s also an important and necessary step in the process of transformation.
The challenge is this:
For this valuable discovery to serve its healing purpose, you must use it the right way.
Unfortunately, this is where the inner bully often jumps in, chastising you for what’s been revealed.
BUT You need to remember that attacking yourself for what you see is not the way to freedom from your “Inner Bully”…
Far from it.
Attacking yourself will only perpetuate and strengthen the parts of yourself you don’t like —
And will steal from you the value of the revelation.
So, if letting the inner bully punish you is not an answer . . .
And turning the other way and pretending you never saw the thing at all is not an answer . . .
How do you change your attitude about yourself and life?
It starts with seeing that the revelation was a gift —
EXACTLY the kind of gift you’ve been working for.
The revelation is here to help you to stop hurting yourself.
You just didn’t know it.
But what are you to do with the gift?
What are you supposed to do when you uncover these aspects of yourself that you know are hurting you and all your relationships?
How do you turn everything around so that the very thing you didn’t want to see in yourself becomes the doorway to a whole new level of yourself?
This is an important question if you wish to unmask the inner bully.
I have had to learn to just let it go.
It is as simple, and as difficult as that.