What is real anyway?


Yesterday I wrote about living inside our imaginations more than we live in the REAL world…

 

Today I want to take that discussion to the next level and see if we can really begin to get out of our HEADS and into our LIVES.

 

I want to start with a very strong statement- This statement carries a lot of power, so read it slowly and really allow it to sink deep into your consciousness…

 

Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.

 

When you believe all of your thoughts, you will find yourself immersed in suffering because thoughts can be deceiving.

Understanding and using this single concept in your everyday life, will literally give you the necessary power to ease your pain and lighten your moods more than you can imagine.

Most people, myself included, go through life thinking they are simply making observations, when in reality, they are adding to the facts and making judgments and forming opinions based on those observations and judgments.

Here is the second strong statement that I will make today-

Those judgments and opinions are what create our unease.

A fact would be something like, you ate 10 Oreo cookies.

This is something everyone would agree on and cannot be argued.

The distress enters your life when you start thinking you are disgusting because you ate the cookies, or believe you will never look good in a bathing suit because you can’t control yourself around sweets.

A belief is just a repeated thought.

So if you walk around telling yourself things like, “I’m not good enough,

or not pretty enough

or not thin enough,

or successful enough,”

You will eventually start to believe those things.

When you think negatively about yourself or others, it never feels good.

So why would you choose to buy into your own lies??

In most instances you cannot control the thoughts that enter your mind.

What you can control though, is whether or not you choose to engage them.

It can be tricky at first because most people aren’t even conscious of their thoughts.

This is because people are so used to believing everything they think.

I have found that it is definitely a learned behavior to question our thinking and then to begin to fully recognize that we are not our thoughts.

Pay attention to your moods.

If you find yourself feeling crappy, ask yourself, “What am I thinking about?”

Your feelings always come from your thoughts, so start thinking about what you’re thinking about.

My entire life, I have hated Wednesdays. Give me a lifetime of Monday, I can handle that, but Wednesday…NO THANKS!

If you ask me why I hate Wednesday, I won’t even be able to give you a good answer. I just hate them. 

So this was the first “thought” that put under the microscope.

When I did that, I was very surprised to discover that I did not have one logical reason for hating Wednesdays.

So I firmly told myself, “SELF”,

( that’s what I call myself when I talk to myself. 😉 )

“Self, We are going to stop hating Wednesday”

I wish I could tell you it was an instant transformation, and that I immediately started loving that day of the week, but I can’t.

What I can tell you however is that I no longer dread it. I am not a crabby woman all day long anymore, Wednesday has become just like any other day of the week for me.

And that my friends was a HUGE shift in attitude for me!

Understanding why we feel the way we feel, without placing blame on other people or circumstances is liberating.

Image result for stop blaming

 

Sticking to the facts, will allow you to feel much more calm and content in life.

 

If you could get cut off while driving without labeling the other driver an idiot,

or see the number on the scale without a running commentary, you really can cut out a lot of stress in your life.

If you can look for a new job because it’s time to move on, rather than labeling yourself a failure, you can avoid feeling depleted.

If you can understand your partner is not a mind reader, rather than jump to the conclusion he or she doesn’t love you, you can avoid anger.

If you can move on from a relationship without labeling yourself unlovable, you can avoid additional sadness.

 

Do you see where I am going with this?

We may not have any choice over the circumstances that come into our lives, or the way we instinctively react to those circumstances,

BUT…

We do have COMPLETE control over how we choose to engage with those circumstances and the feelings that we are having surrounding any given situation.

Questioning your thoughts is the next step.

Is it possible that the opposite of the thing you are worried about could also occur?

Can you come up with some reasons why your thought might not be true?

Can you see why maybe that person you are so angry with didn’t do anything to you, and it’s just your judgments that are causing you pain?

This type of questioning, loosens the grip of your painful belief systems.

Pain in life is inevitable,

BUT… suffering is optional.

When you compare yourself to others, you are choosing to suffer.

When you berate yourself because your body isn’t “perfect,” you are choosing to suffer.

When you blame others for the way you feel, you are choosing to suffer.

It’s nearly impossible to make positive changes from a negative place.

The more you question the thoughts that make you feel icky, the sooner you can get on your merry way, and enjoy life for all that it truly is!

SO… like I said,

“Get out of your head and into your life!”

 

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