You will NEVER have peace until you learn this lesson…

Last week I talked a lot about being fully present and active in your life.

I talked about letting go of fear,

taking responsibility,

and forgiveness.



Today, I really want to hone in on just how important forgiveness is to living a healthy and productive life.

I was first faced with the issue of forgiveness on a really GRAND scale when my son was abused by his father and his uncle.

I was filled with rage!

They had stolen my son from me!

Sure, He was still alive, and I could hold him in my arms, but the sweet little  boy who was full of wonder and joy, was gone. In his place was a terrified, angry little monster.

People kept telling me that my anger was justified.

This added more fuel to my fire.

As my anger grew, so did my fear and depression.

I am certain that I would have continued walking down this path of hatred, that would lead me to my own destruction, had it not been for my sweet little boy.

He loved me so much, and it was killing my three year old to watch me living my life this way…

How do I know that it was killing him?

Because he told me!


I was folding clothes one day and he came into the laundry room and said mommy can I tell you something?

I knelt down so we were eye to eye… Then he softly touched my cheeks with his little chubby hands and said, “Mommy, I didn’t tell you what dad and Bill did so that you would hate them, I told you so that you could protect me. Why are you so mad?”

I answered him and explained that I was angry because they had hurt him.

He looked at me like he was very confused.

Then he said something to me that immediately and permanently changed my life in ways I never could have foreseen.

He said, “No they didn’t mommy, they hurt my body, but they didn’t hurt me. I am fine. God was giving them a test, and they didn’t pass it. You don’t need to worry mommy, I am not hurt.”


Talk about changing your perspective!

In that instant, my life began to spin in a whole different direction.

Sure, I was still going to have to endure years of struggles and hardships, but in that moment my tiny three year old reminded me that there is a much bigger plan that is going on around us, and we just never know what the reason for our trials might be.

So I became very determined to find some way to learn how to forgive so that I could be present and focused on my son so that we could heal the trauma that he had been through and create a beautiful life for this special little spirit that the Lord had trusted me with.

My first really powerful idea about forgiveness was this:

I read it in the book titled, “Letting go of the person you used to be”

By lama Surya Das.

“Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.”― Lama Surya Das

That became my new definition of Forgiveness.

Since then I have figured out a few more powerful truths about learning to forgive.

Here are my top 10.

These have all been thoroughly tested in the Laboratory I call “My Life”

#1: Forgiveness allows us to be fully present in this moment, right here, right now.


#2: Forgiveness enables us to wholeheartedly embrace what is and to be at peace with our past and fully engaged with the present.


#3: Making peace with our past is the fastest way we can experience the abundance that is our birthright. Without forgiveness there is always something pulling us out of alignment with ourselves and with life; it is an energy drain in our system.

#4: Until we have made perfect peace with all that has occurred in our entire life, and with all the people who have played a part in it, we deny ourselves the full richness of our true potential.


#5: Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.


#6: It frees up the energy we had invested in making another, or ourselves, wrong. Ultimately, forgiveness is letting go of the illusion that something actually ever went wrong.

#7: Self-forgiveness is reclaiming our innocence. We let go of the belief that we should have known what we didn’t know then. We let go of the story that we should have been something we were not then, or that we should have acted in a way that we were not capable of at that time.

#8: Forgiveness is a choice.


#9: From the highest viewpoint, forgiving others is actually quite natural. We all can readily admit that whatever perceived wrong another might have committed, we have committed the same or a similar wrong ourselves—even if only in our imagination. 
We know their so-called wrong was the result of ignorance, born out of fear.  


#10: Know that it no longer serves you to cling to any story of wrong doing, either by yourself or by another.

So I will end today with this little thought for you to ponder and hopefully apply to your own life:

What is the benefit of continuing to perpetuate stories that contradict the truth that we are all essentially love?

It is my prayer today that as you begin to shift your perspective about who and what you truly are, that in turn will shift the nature of the world you inhabit and the experiences you have with others.

The world cannot help but become a more loving place because with forgiveness you will have become a more loving, openhearted human being. And all you had to do was come into alignment with what was already true.

You are a being of love and light!


Not hate and judgement.


18 thoughts on “You will NEVER have peace until you learn this lesson…

    1. I have not read any works by Colin Tipping. I will be googling that name for sure thought because I love the concept of honopono. My husband Jeff lived in Hawaii for 5 yrs while serving in the navy. He speaks about it often, and the entire concept is absolutely beautiful and carries such wisdom and power. Life is so much easier when we learn to lay down the sword of judgement and allow life to unfold before us.
      Thank you for your kind words today.
      God Bless!

      1. wow, it’s so nice to know some that Jeff loves the honopono. It’s amazing. We came across Colin’s work because we find that people sometimes use flowers to help them to feel noticed, loved and appreciated rather than being feeling overlooked, neglected or forgotten. Just by acknowledging that led us to find the work of Colin Tipping. His radical forgiveness stuff is great.

        Thanks for avoiding glossing over the important aspects of life. Love from us here in London

      2. I am so honored to receive your love from clear across the Ocean. I thank God that our paths have crossed and that we get to share this small part of our lives together. As for talking about the hard stuff, I have found that REAL love does not tolerate bad behavior, and if I want to send love out into the world, that sometimes means talking about things that others might shy away from but I have survived some terrible trials in my life, and have come out on the other side transformed. I am stronger. I know that there is a God who loves me. And I know that I can survive anything, and that is the message that I try to share…There is always HOPE!

      3. Yep….your beauty comes from the fact that you are avoiding glossing over trials.Thank you for investing in your own healing by not forgetting and not leaving out significant things. It’s a win win all the way

      4. Our trials are the heat that adds strength to our character. To avoid those issues would be dishonest. I am the person I am because of my experiences, and I believe that there are thousands of people out there who can relate to my story, and it is my prayer that by having the courage to talk about them, I can help heal some wounds, because it is like Jesus taught us Do unto others as you would have done to you. I want to live a life surrounded by people who love and support me… so that is what I offer the word.

  1. I’m so grateful for this post. I’ve been dealing with a really deep hurt from a close friend lately and even though i tell myself i’ve forgiven him because i know that’s the best thing to do, i still really feel the pain and heaviness. Seeing this today really gives me strength to do what i know i should do, let go.Thanks a lot! God bless you real good.

    1. Thank you! Just remember that pain is a feeling that needs to be respected. Don’t force the pain to go away, because honestly you can’t. Letting it ride through you and giving yourself permission to feel your feelings is the best way to get over them. As for your friend, Letting go of the need to have had a different past with them is really the first step to forgiveness. I have found that the things that happened to my son will NEVER be ok for me. I will always be upset about that. But I have learned how to separate myself from tyrants like that and to honestly allow them to be who they are with no judgement about their choices, (which really are none of my business) because I now understand boundaries and can tell someone, “you can be who you are, I won’t change that. But because of who you are, I choose to not have you in my life because of the pain you have caused me.”
      I will keep you in my prayers.
      Heres to your bight future filled with the love that you already are!

  2. i should add that My eyes also watered when i read the part where you wrote the words of your three year old son. If your three year old can understand such deep truths and in the face of such experience, still respond lovingly, how much more? Thanks again for this post. Your son is remarkable!

  3. It still amazes me how God can speak through those we least expect it from. What your son said is so incredible and so wise. Beautiful words and thank you so much for sharing this precious moment.

I would love to hear your thoughts..please share.

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