I have been receiving several comments about how my willingness to share how I have learned to overcome my weaknesses and trials has been such a blessing to some of my readers.
I love hearing that!
Spreading love is the reason I take the time each day to write my blog. For me it had brought so much healing into my heart to be able to put into words the experiences I have had up to this point in my life.
I have spent over twenty years traveling in the valleys of life.
But somehow, this past year, I have made it to the top of the mountain.
(I am fully aware of the fact that life will still give me opportunities to once again travel in the valley of trials, but like I have said before, I will travel them next time better equipped and ready to surrender the trial to the Lord.)
He has been, and always will be my greatest support and strength.
Jesus taught us about Love.
Every breath He took as a human contained pure Love.
So today, I want to share what I have learned about Love with all of you.
The first thing I want you to know is that,
YES…Love is worth it every time!
You have all heard that said a million times over- and for good reason.
The immense gravity of love and connection is the biggest life lesson of all.
The next thing I want you to know about love is that it doesn’t need to look how anyone else says it should.
What do I mean by that?
I mean that Love doesn’t have to check all the boxes that your family, your therapist, your friends, or society have laid out for you.
You and only you will know what Love means to you.
Take time to discover what that is and then chase it every single moment for the rest of your life!
What matters is that the love in your life touches your heart and resonates in your soul.
Spend time each and every day to lean into it and let yourself be raw – in that rawness you will stretch your boundaries and live more deeply than you knew to be possible.
Since I married Jeff, I have had to really test myself in this area. In my past two marriages, my husbands were cruel and selfish men, and that was all I ever knew about marriage.
I have never had any experience with a man who is kind and generous like Jeff.
So each day, it is a challenge for me to be raw and vulnerable with him, but I know that if we are going to grow our marriage into the potential that it is capable of then I need to trust him with my very life!
By being willing to expose myself completely to Jeff, I am learning just how wonderful partnership can be.
I am learning that it is protective, nurturing, heart opening, and awe inspiring.
None of those things have ever been my experience before, and I am relishing in the beauty of our love.
It is my treasure and I will continue to protect it with my own life.
The third thing about Love that I want you to know is that many of your life’s lessons will need to be learned more than once…
AND that’s okay.
In fact, it is not just okay, it is desirable even, to take the time you need to think clearly, and then if necessary change your mind.
AND… then to even sometimes change it back again.
Here is the fourth lesson about Love that I want you to know. You are the one who has to live with the choices you make in the end so give yourself absolute permission to be as thorough and thoughtful in making those choices as you need to be to feel confident.
When I went through my second divorce. I was crushed. I felt like a complete failure!
I knew then that I needed to take some time to heal.
Time to learn who I was as a woman.
All I knew about myself was who I was as a wife and a mother, I had completely lost touch with the woman inside of me.
So I took three very long, very lonely years to get myself together.
During that time I started painting again.
I started writing again,
and most importantly I started to become friends with myself again.
I was learning how to depend on, and trust in myself, which would eventually allow me to attract a quality man like Jeff into my life.
So here is the fifth lesson I have learned about Love: You do not need to define yourself in absolutes.
Some days I am vibrant and shiny and some days I am subdued and dull.
I have learned to embrace the variations and not apologize for the inconsistencies.
If you do not want to be static in your life, then change and growth require you to be willing to be something different today from what you were yesterday.
It was during my three years of NO DATING PERIOD!
that I learned the value of the Sixth lesson about Love.
I learned that Boredom and loneliness are gifts.
They show you where you need to place some attention and where you want to shift.
If you are too busy attempting to chase away the painful moments with your next mindless adventure, you will miss out on an so many different opportunities for growth and learning.
You miss the chance to reflect for a moment.
You will miss the chance to choose the next path carefully and thoughtfully so that it is one that opens you up further instead of simply filling a hole in your schedule.
It really is alright for you to feel the discomfort because it is from that place that you will learn to become more intentional in how you live.
The seventh lesson about Love that I want you to know is that you need to avoid getting distracted by the trappings of other people’s dreams.
Sure…They look beautiful on someone else because it is their dream- borne from their unique experiences.
I will be the first to admit that it can be fun to “TRY ON” someone else’s role for a moment, I just want you to be sure that you will always return to your true self.
The reason I mention that is because Your aspirations glow on you because they are birthed from who you are, what you believe and the lessons you carry.